Linguist is the politics board's resident self-indulgent homosexual. Ling-Ling has never posted a message that did not begin with the word "I."

Linguist has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, and he is proud of all he has accomplished in spite of it. He hopes his existence serves to inspire other high-functioning retards.

He pals around with ClubRiddick, a fellow retard who cannot spell. She met Linguist when they were assigned the same short bus during their school days.

Linguist's delusions have included sending a letter to President Bush suggesting he start a language corps. Bush failed to respond, prompting Ling-Ling to turn on the leader during the final days of his presidency.

Linguist has a wife, or beard as she's often called.

Linguist's arch-nemesis is DoyleHargraves, whom Ling-Ling calls Doylie.

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